Stronger, Deeper, Harder: A Dragon Boater’s Wet Dream

Admit it, we’ve all been there. We’re on the boat, the coach says something completely innocent, and we all giggle just a little under our breath. Why? Paddling is filled with hilariously warped statements and commands that are actually 100% paddle-related. To an outsider, they sound twisted. Downright perverted. And yes, they make us laugh.

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So, in honor of Friday, and spring, here are a few dragon boat sayings to make you laugh and brighten your day. Enjoy!

– Give me 2 more inches
– Lower your hand on the shaft
– Do you mind stroking for us?
– Don’t pull out too soon
– Pull out sooner, you’re getting me wet
– It’s really tight back here
– You’re holding the shaft too tight, relax your grip
– Dig it deep and feel the glide
– Power finish now!
– Don’t bob your head
– Give it to me!
– Take it in slow and careful with the head
– Close your eyes and feel the rhythm
– Pull it out at the same time as the guy in front of you
– Do you have any wax for my shaft?
– Loosen your grip, it’s too tight on the shaft
– I have a blister on my butt
– You’re pulling out too soon and it’s splashing me
– Lift your butt cheek when you reach, it helps you to thrust more
– Deeper, harder, stronger, faster
– Dig!
– No pussy grips!
– Keep it long
– Open up and show your partner your chest
– Long and strong
– We’re a bit front heavy
– We’ll do a wet start

If you have more, I’d love to hear them!

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15 Discussion to this post

  1. Eric says:

    “Check for cock”

    New call in the Goblin Empire boat this year after someone had poor top-hand position and had cocked their wrist.

  2. Deb says:

    Just wanted to let you know that members of the Brisbane River Dragons have just discovered your blog and are thoroughly enjoying your writing. Keep ’em coming, so we Down Under can continue to learn and laugh…thanks, Deb

  3. Donnette says:

    Just found your blog through a friend. I’m a virgin paddler at the youthful age of 40. It’s helpful and hilarious… from Trinidad

  4. Wendy Rose Davison says:

    We heard a new one tonight at training, one with a distinct Australian flavour…coach said “I want you to get right up ‘er” meaning paddle right under the armpit of the paddler in front…one for your list

  5. Michaela Avis says:

    Don’t forget the ‘reach around’, that is into the armpit of the paddler in front.

  6. Natalie T says:

    We have a saying in our club “Don’t let your middle leg flop around”!

  7. Vicki says:

    Coach once said…

    No teabagging (the paddle)

  8. KH says:

    “If its not in all the way it doesn’t count” Talking about the paddle

  9. Patty Dawsoj says:

    Active rest….our coach doesn’t allow us to stop paddling while doing drills. He has named it the Jody special.

  10. Samantha says:

    “There’s a rush coming from the back” “there’s a jerk in the back” “use your back and get down”

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